Monday 11 March 2013

What does it feel like?

Hi Everyone!

I've been having a real flare-up these past couple of days. I find it so difficult to live a normal life with this illness. Im 34 and feel more like Im 54. I have friends that are 50 and can do more than me. They also have more energy. It is really hard for me to keep up. I try to pretend that everything is ok and that I can function without pity from all around.

When I feel like this, I feel like my whole life is just a blur. I do without thinking. I put one foot in front of the other and just take one minute at a time.It feels like I have lost all control. I hate feeling that way. I need to be in control or everything starts to fall apart around me.

What people don't realise is that its very difficult to have an invisible illness. No one sees it and then they presume you are ok. They expect you to do everything that a normal 34 yr old would do. I look healthy on the outside, but inside I feel like I'm dying!I so wish I could be better and feel good again.. I don't even know what good feels like anymore. What does it feel like to have no pain at all? I have no idea.

Do you know what it feels like?

Thanks for reading!